Tuesday, July 13, 2010
TIME TO LET GO
Hello Reader ...today i want to share some feelings regarding changes that comes over suddenly in our lives.Changes which we don't really want to accept but very much needed for us to move on ahead in the race of life.
Recently we had to move over to a new flat located in a remote area of Bangalore.The area is quite isolated with only a tech park and a forum close by.As i had mentioned in one of my previous posts, i was quite contented with my previous house even with all its mystical phantom experiences.I had grown accustomed to staying in that house so much that i never thought i would have to leave it one day.I loved its white walls which seemed to speak to me in an uncanny way.I loved its glorious spacious rooms.I loved even the balcony that used to display a very dirty view of an empty, unused plot which was being used as a sort of garbage dump.I loved everything about it so much was i attached to it !
Even next to my room, from my windows everyday i had to tolerate the continuous madenning barkings of four huge dogs of our neighbour.The dogs were kept in two kennels just below my room.It used to irritate me so much that i used to concoct plans of buying different types of deadly poisons and mixing them with bones and throwing them down at them easily from my window to murder the dogs.It would have lead to an instant unsuspicious death of the damnable dogs.Now before u get the idea that i m some sort of a sadistic animal killer :) , let me correct u that i am usually a great animal lover, specially cats and dogs.But moments like when u try to get some blessed sleep after a head splitting migrane and all u can get to hear are the loud barkings coming from next door, trust me even u will feel like murdering those dogs :)
Nevertheless, now that i have left that house, its only silence that visits me from my new room windows.And u know what,i am not at all loving this silence.I want those dogs again..the house back.Somehow my ears have become accustomed to hearing the music of their barkings all the time in my room.I used to dream of this silence ofcourse many times but now that i have achieved it, my heart still seeks how it used to be.May be i am sentimental.I don't know but i really miss the old place, old friends, old job...the old simple life.
I still remember the first day we shifted to the old house, me and my brother with only a few belongings, laughing at each other from the two distant rooms, feeling euphorious as though we got to stay at the Buckingham palace.Yes, it was like a palace to us after staying in small dark rooms for years together.No doubt in that palace, i got to experience some terrifying unexplained events like the one i have mentioned in one of my previous posts.Now that we have vacated that house, i would like to mention some of the other strange events that had happened during our stay.
The very first one began on our first day of shifting.The whole day was gone in packing and moving things into the house and we were very exhausted.Infact i was so tired that i fell into a deep sleep in the cot where i was lying down in the large Hall.I didn't have the energy to get up and sleep in my bedroom.During the night, i had woken up suddenly feeling somebody was waking me up and was surprised to find myself in the Hall alone.Feeling scared and cold, i shut my eyes and went to sleep.Next morning, when i opened my eyes, i was shivering and found the fan running at full speed.I was surprised because i had never switched on the fan in the coldness of December night.I even asked my brother if he had done it when he woke up but he simply smirked saying he had never come out of his room.I wondered who did it then.The one who woke me up at night? God only knows!
Then there was one day when i was alone cooking in the kitchen when i felt something passing behind the curtains of my bedroom door.I was half turned towards it and could not see it properly.When i turned and stared what it was, i could not see anything.May be it was my wild imagination, saying that i continued cooking. Again after five minutes,i felt the same thing happen and this time my heart missed a beat, my hand began shaking.I stopped what i was doing and turned towards the door.I stood like that for some time transfixed.
Now the list of these activities will go on and all i want to say is even with all these mysterious happenings in the house, i still loved it, still do and miss it terribly now.My heart was breaking while i was packing my things in the room.I was unable to bear the sight of the rooms left barren.The posters torn, the windows left uncurtained, the dogs growling outside as though sensing my departure.With a heavy heart, i had said goodbye to the walls and the notorious spirit or whatever it was in the house.
It was time for me to move on, to let go of things we cant have forever.It was time for me to accept changes in my life and embrace a new bright beginning draping a soft silk curtain over the past.And believe it or not, it was on that day that i saw a double rainbow for the first time in my life in the midst of showers and sunlight from the balcony of our new flat.May be that was a sign of good omen :).I am soon going to find that out...